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Ending the conversation

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Video transcript

Jo: Now that you and the young person have worked out a plan that works for both of you, it’s time to end the conversation.

Liv: Before you leave us, ensure that we are feeling satisfied and are leaving in a positive or neutral state of mind. If we still have more we want to share, give us time to speak, whilst actively listening and responding with care. You can find more tips on actively listening on other guides on this website.

Nadia: Make sure that you’ve both addressed everything that needs to be covered

in the session. Don’t ignore the things that are more complicated or harder to manage.

Jo: Don’t focus too much on how we’ll feel tomorrow or next week. The plan that you’ve created may encompass the rest of the week but, during the session, remain focussed on the present moment and the issues affecting us whilst we’re with you.

Liv: We really appreciate a follow up, or being checked up on, so, if this is possible, please do this. If you’re not able to, then please put us in contact with other organisations that will help us. Put us in direct contact with these services, cos’ the chances are we won’t do this ourselves. Or if you know who we’re going to be seeing next, introduce us.

Nadia: Remember to follow through on any expectations you’ve set with the young person. Will you call back? Will there be another appointment? Could you schedule a 

time to talk next week? Whatever you’ve said you will do, you must follow through and take accountability.

Jo: We might be really relying on the expectations that you have set, and if we feel let down, ignored or simply not cared for, this might affect our trust in the services, and likelihood of returning when in need.

Liv: And for this reason, it’s incredibly important not to make promises unless you’re sure that you can keep them. 

Nadia: We understand that if we’re being passed on to external agencies, you may not be able to guarantee a time frame. Make sure that you’ve communicated that that is out of your control, but, for the things that are in your control, you’ll do your best to make sure that they happen. 

Jo: Before you go, make sure that you’re both clear on what will happen moving forwards, and that we have steps that we can take if we feel this way again.

Liv: Acknowledge that this has been potentially hard on us, and that we may be feeling very alone after this interaction, and remind us that we can access the service again if we’re ever in need.

Nadia: While this process can be really hard for us, we want to take a moment to acknowledge that it can be difficult from your end too, and that hearing from us can sometimes be emotionally draining. Remember to take care of yourself too; some of those self-care tips might help you cope, or wind down after hearing the information that we’ve told you. You matter as well! Look after yourself, and remember to give yourself the same compassion that you show us.

When you end the conversation, check in with us to make sure that we are satisfied with the session and that we feel we have been listened to and cared for. We might have more to share, so make sure that you continue to listen to us and give us time to speak.

After the session, it is important to follow through on any expectations such as follow up calls that you have set up. How you follow through with any promises will also influence trust in services and likelihood of reaching out again. Make sure you let us know what is and isn’t within your control, like when you refer out to external services. Putting us in direct contact with these services can help make it easier for our future interactions with them. Remind us that we can access the service again when we are in need.

While this process can be extremely hard on us, we know that it can be difficult for you to have these conversations and that you are working extremely hard in sometimes challenging conditions. Remember to take care of yourself too! You matter as well! Look after yourself and remember to give yourself the same compassion you offer us.

Reflection space

What are the self-care activities that help you wind down after having a challenging conversation? How well do they work and are there other things that would help? Who can you talk to if you feel like you need support?